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So long as we were undergraduates, he had a solemn duty of staying on that side of the line, so that we could work together and build a strong friendship after going on from college. He knew it, I knew it, and we both worked hard to maintain it.That night, I don't know how these things came to be, but, at a party where my team was declared the winners, that Little the MVP. My Big told me to go to him. So, I did. And, when he kissed me, his hand on my butt, I couldn't help but shyly kiss him back.Our frat family was loud and as the music pumped through the frat house, he led me up to a dim room, and he locked the door behind us. There was only one bed in the room and I immediately recognized it as the head of the fraternity's bedroom.But he kept kissing me. His tongue licked at my lips and when I opened my mouth to him, I placed my hands on his shoulders as he held both of my butt cheeks, squeezing them and rubbing my crotch against his.He tasted like beer and sweat, and soap. He was. That’s what she usually calls him. She can’t stand his name. Sometimes she’ll refer to him as her ex, but usually he’s just ‘him’. I make sure she hears me approaching. She looks at me briefly, her eyes blurred with tears, and nods. She turns away. I come closer, slowly, and wrap my arms around her. I have her arms in an ‘X’ pattern and I hold them there. I hold her close to me as she cries. She can’t move, and she continues to bawl in my arms. She probably saw a photo, a post, some sort of trigger. Or she could have just been thinking about high school, about him, about all the different ways he touched her, about all the pain he’s caused her, about all the pain that is still here, years later. About the pain she fears may never go away. She’s shaking in my arms and I’m all that’s holding her steady. Here, held so tight, she is able to let go. She is able to not be as strong as she always is. She is able to cry without having to worry. Without having to think. Just to feel. It’s.
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